Lexophile - a lover of words

"Lexophile" describes a lover of words, such as "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish"; "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

This year's submissions: I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore. I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. A will is a dead giveaway. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. Police were summoned to a day care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory, but it was never fully developed. When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. When chemists die, they barium. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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